The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine (Simon & Garfunkel)

NAME/ORIGIN
Character name	The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine
Song/Album	The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine/Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
Act	Simon & Garfunkel
Writer	Paul Simon
Release Date	1966
ABILITIES
Powers	-Remove pain "Eliminate your pain" -Induce a comatose state "Neutralize your brain" -Cure anxiety "Are you worried and distressed? Can't seem to get no rest? Put our product to the test! You'll feel just fine, now." -Remove conflict and difficulties "We can end your daily strife"
Skills	(is a machine)
Attributes	Is "big". Is "bright green."
Vulnerabilities	As a machine, it may break down, wear out, lose power, etc.
Formidability	moderate
Attractiveness	Is selling well: "Our limited supply is very nearly gone!"
Source	Ronco? Seems to be sold via radio and TV ads.
Goals	reduce physical, mental, and emotional pain
POSSESSIONS
Weapons	Is not a weapon, but could (like anything) be weaponized
Amulets	N/A
Objects	Is an object
Clothing	outermost surface is green
Vehicles	Must be transported via vehicle (is big, maybe too big to lift easily)
Dwelling	Seems intended for in-home use
Milieu	Homes, ones large enough to fit it.
BIOGRAPHY
Gender	(is a machine)
Age	in production since mid-1960s
Physique	is big, and bright green
Ethnicity	(is a machine)
Origin	Manufacturer not revealed
Ancestry	N/A
Profession	N/A
Education	N/A but may be programmable
SES	N/A
Relationships	Owners
Pets	N/A
PERSONALITY
Morality	N/A
Intro/extrovert	N/A
Intelligence	artificial
Emotions	N/A
Sanity	N/A
Enemies	competitors? psychologists? drug pushers?
Narrative Function	catalyst
Other Notes	The Pleasure Machine's methods are not given-- does it use biofeedback? Magnets? Electroshock? Chemicals? Nanobots? All we know is what the advertiser says is does, not how it does it. But if you are buying it to relieve stress, maybe it's best not to ask. Just plug it in, sit back, and let the Pleasure Machine work its magic. The nice thing is, it really doesn't seem to matter what the source of your stress is-- lack of confidence, some perceived physical shortcoming, loneliness, underemployment, insomnia, or just generalized anxiety. What even nicer is that they will sell you one even if your checks tend to bounce. They must use Pleasure Machines themselves, if they are not worried about getting paid. Let's just hope this "product" is not the brainchild of someone who wants to lull the public into a stupor for nefarious purposes...